Wednesday, March 21, 2012

gotta call people out on a lie!

I'm out of hiding to bring you this important message:

NO MATTER WHO TELLS YOU THAT KALE CHIPS ARE AS GOOD OR BETTER THAN REGULAR CHIPS- IT IS IS A LIE!!

Kale chips are nowhere near as delicious as plain Lays - if you don't have calories to waste on chips - you should just not eat chips! Don't lie to yourself - or other people!  There's no replacement for Lays potato chips!

sooo you think I'm lying to you now?


I made these - they make your house smell like cabbage - and they taste like bitter, salty feet.  They aren't crunchy - they try to disintegrate in your mouth.  If you still don't believe me.... make your own.

Wash some Kale, get rid of the stems, dry it, toss it in a little bit of olive oil, toss on a parchment lined baking sheet, salt - bake for about 10-ish minutes on 375 - the edges will looks brownish - but won't be burn-y. 

I ate three, then that shit went in the garbage!  Today - I'll be finding a grab bag of Lays to apologize to my taste buds.  And - if you like these - you just don't know what tastes good - and you should also get a grab bag of Lays!  I don't care if you want to tell me these are sooo much healthier - blah blah freakin blah! I don't eat chips every day - and when I want chips - I will eat them, dammit! In response to your lies about replacing junk food with "equally delicious" healthy versions - EFF YOU!  Have a nice day!

3 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. I'm willing to try it - but I'm 90% positive it will be followed by an identical post

      Delete
  2. Dear Weirdo Food Scientists,

    I don't care how much a recipe that contains chickpeas and pitted dates *tastes just like* chocolate chip cookie dough. First of all, I don't fucking believe you. Second of all, the time you spent figuring this out would have been better spent on a treadmill. Then you could eat the real thing.

    Love,
    Tara

    ReplyDelete