Eat Me! ....I'm creamy and sweet

I made a layered dessert for Friday Treats at work.  Guess what?  I'm not giving you that one yet!  Oh, I know!  Stop whining!  It was a chocolate thing, and it is rich, and frankly, I just ate so much pasta for dinner, I don't want to think about rich and chocolaty! But, I'm going to give you a portion of the recipe, because when I made that dessert on Friday morning, I realized that one of the layers is amazingly tasty - and I used it for another purpose.  While this could still be pretty unhealthy (okay, it is a sugary mess) it is still better than the full on layered chocolate thing. (I ate it for breakfast on Friday - it is REALLLLLLY unhealthy as far as breakfasts go... but not the worst possible thing you could eat as far as desserts go!)

Best part of this - four ingredients, five minutes or less.  That's right, I just stuck it to two shows with one recipe!

What you'll need

• 8oz cream cheese, softened
•  1 cup of  confectioner's sugar
• 4oz Cool Whip (please do not attempt to use real whipped cream.  It doesn't hold up to the weight of the cream cheese)
• Strawberries (if you want to use another type of fruit, go ahead.  I just find that strawberries and cream cheese are delicious together)
• A knife
• A bowl for serving
• A bowl for mixing (If you have one with a lid, use it.  Then you won't need a storage container)
• A storage container
• A sink, running water, soap, towels
• A mixer (I use a hand mixer)
• A scraping spatula
• A spoon for eating with

Okay, I'm pretty positive that you should be able to get your hands on those items.... and I think that should be all you need!

Let's do this!

1. Wash your hands, use the soap on them.... while you've got the water running, rinse your fruit. Roughly chop the fruit into the serving bowl.  (Please don't chop off a finger!)  Wash your hands again, and dry them this time.
2. Dump the cream cheese and sugar into the mixing bowl.  Mix well.  Use the scraping spatula to scrape the sides of the bowl down.  Mix in any of the stuff that you scraped in.
3. Fold in Cool Whip.  (By that, I mean use the lowest setting possible - I don't expect you to put muscle into this!)
4. Remove beater(s), scrape off cream cheese mixture into the bowl.  Lick any remaining deliciousness off of the beater(s) before you worry about putting them in the sink.
5. Slap a dollop (or in the case of the photo I provided, a huge scoop!) of this creamy concoction on top of the fruit.  Grab your spoon, and ingest. 
6. If you didn't use a mixing bowl with a lid, be sure to move it into container and store it in the fridge.  If you did.... then just pop the lid on and toss it in the fridge for breakfast in the morning! 

So, if this takes you more than five minutes to make... you didn't read the whole post before you started.  That isn't my fault!  Read, get your stuff together, then begin.  It is important that you cream cheese be softened before you start mixing.... so, when you're planning to make this... put your cheese out a few hours early.  No, I don't think that counts in how long it takes to make.  Opening the fridge, grabbing one item, and tossing it on the counter where it will be ignored for three hours.... nope.  You're a lazy jerk off if you think that counts!  Have fun with this - let me know what other kind of delicious stuff you put this on!  I thought it would be tasty if you put it on some chessmen cookies or something... whatever! OH - graham crackers are healthy.. spread it on that! HAHAHAHA!  You can find this one in phoodos with all of the past recipes.  Look for more to come next week!  (or sooner if I get wild and crazy!)  Enjoy!

....this is the summer of the strawberry panty wetter!

Let's simplify this explanation.... I have a garden,with an abundance of basil.... I decided to come up with a cocktail to use some of it... okay most of it!  To explain the rest.... My favorite local band, The Swamp Tigers, are the headliners in my summer, maybe my year.  I'm not sure yet, but I can't seem to get enough of them lately!  That doesn't exactly explain things for you, though... the guys have mentioned that Blake's bass has been referred to as "the panty wetter".

Anywho, I made a delicious summer drink, THE drink of my summer.  ... so, the first night that I made this delicious concoction for myself, I was rocking a pretty sweet buzz!  Somehow, despite my intoxication, I managed to pull together a Swamp Tiger's inspired name for this strawberry-basil deliciousness in a glass - The Swamp Tigers and the drink are the only items necessary to explain my summer!  So, perhaps you should mix up a pitcher of strawberry panty wetters for yourself the next time you want the perfect summer night drink (not that PBR isn't the perfect summer night drink!  maybe you just need/want something other than beer - and I promise, this is NOT just a girly drink!  My family is full of hardcore beer dudes - most of them have tried it, and agree it is delish!) ... and DEFINITELY go catch the Swamp Tigers!

So, I think I am done with the pre-recipe ramblings, on with it!

What you will need

• A pitcher or two (2 Quarts will probably be a good size)
• Some strawberries
• A measuring cup (metric measurement is kinda necessary)
• A bunch of fresh basil  (if you want to forgo the cost at the grocery, I'm happy to share - come by the house, I have more than enough to share!  Honestly - I will give you a start of your own if you want!)
• Some sugar
• A potato masher, or a muddler
• A sharp knife
• A cutting board
• A sink with running water [(soap, and towel too... you will want to wash your hands, this gets sticky!) That's what he said!]
• Some prepared lemonade of your choice - we will say a quart (I use Country Time Pink Lemonade mix)
• Some gin
• Something to stir with

Alright, I think that is everything you need, other than some ice and glasses - and straws if your intentions include getting trashed!

Let's do this!

1. Rinse the strawberries and give them a slice.  Put the sliced strawberries in the bottom of the pitcher, and top them with a healthy dose of sugar.  (I add the sugar to ensure that the strawberries will be sweet - just guess on the amount of sugar by tasting the berries after smashing.)
2. Smash the berries with the potato masher or muddler.  Taste them to make sure that they are sweet enough, then set the pitcher aside. (Don't be gross, make sure you use a clean spoon, or clean hands - and don't double dip, sicko!)
3. Rinse the basil leaves, slice them in thin ribbons (that's a chiffonade for you fancy chefs out there) and stir the basil into the strawberries.
4. Add  200mL of gin to the berries and basil.  Then, stir in a quart of lemonade.
5. Let the flavors marry together for about an hour before serving.  Longer won't hurt!  **Disclaimer, beware of the strawberries the next day, they soak up the gin, and they WILL get you jacked up!**
6. When you are ready to serve, keep a stirring utensil handy. The strawberries sink, and the basil floats - just give it a stir before pouring so every glass will have gets some goodies!

I hope you enjoy!  Be sure to share your sausage links - and you'll have access to this recipe and other past recipes through the phoodos page!  And don't forget to check out The Swamp Tigers!! (Perhaps you'll be sharing your own ST-inspired recipe, too!)  Also, be on the lookout for Tequila Lime Wings and Carolina-style Slaw!  Happy Summer!